FOR ANYBODY CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE: A spiritual perspective.
"Death is not an end to struggle, but merely just an unnecessary pause."
In my younger days, for years I wished to end my own life. I was lost & lonely inside & I was not accustomed to the idea that it would get better or that I was worth anything that was valuable enough to be alive. I thought I hated myself.
Honestly, I lived because yes, something told me it was not a helpful solution, but really I stayed because I didn't want to leave my cats. What would they do without me?
I have come a million miles from those years. I have learned a lot & I have learned that my sadness stemmed not from hating myself but from somehow believing I was SUPPOSED TO. I am glad I decided to stay. I would have missed so much! I would have wasted my opportunity to bring love & joy & light into the world!! I would have wasted my opportunity to learn just how important & valuable I really am & how beautiful & fulfilling life can be!
In the spiritual & intuitive work I am fortunate enough to do nowadays, I encounter those who have completed suicide quite often. The loved ones they leave behind are in need of much healing & I feel I am here to help them find it.
The energies of those who have taken their own lives (both spirits & ghosts as well) vary in many regards. Those who were ill with degenerative diseases, those with substance abuse involved, those who had mental & emotional wellness issues, some who were grieving, some who had secrets, some who were sad & many others.
Aside from those suffering from degenerative & painful diseases, everyone else have so many things in common - they ALL say they realize that there were OTHER & BETTER ways, that they regret leaving that way, that dying did NOT end their pain (even with non-suicide deaths, those who die with sadness, anger or bitterness also communicate those feelings & pain remain until they are SUCCESSFULLY worked through), that they are sorry, & that it's a shame it took them dying to realize just HOW MUCH they had to be grateful for!
Suicide doesn't solve our problems - understanding does!!
When we die (of whatever cause), we are faced with the energy of each of our choices - small, large, bad, good - & we must then accept, come to terms with, & assimilate them before we can move forward & be peaceful. If we refuse, our pain & struggles remain with us, even in death!! Some might view this as "Karma" (cause & effect).
Suicide is not considered a spiritual "sin" but does appear to be felt as an opportunity lost & one that ultimately comes around again. Ask yourself - are the crappy problems you have in your life REALLY ones you wish to have to encounter again until you figure them out? No thanks!
The bottom line here is that yes, suicide can be one solution but it is one with a high price to pay spiritually! Higher than just your life! Death is not an end to our suffering, but merely an unnecessary pause!!
Please take to heart some of the lessons that others who have made the mistake of suicide try to teach us & if you are contemplating suicide, GET HELP instead!! You don't want to have to die before you begin to appreciate the fact that you have the chance to live!!
Suicide may seem like it is the best way of regaining control of a life that feels out of your control, but truly, the only way to do this is to EMBRACE YOUR LIFE & LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST, because one day, your life will end & at least then it REALLY WILL be on YOUR terms & NOT like with suicide - which is on everybody else's!!
Seek the support you need! You will NEVER regret not giving up!!!
Peace, love, light & joy!! Huugs & you are NEVER alone!!
- Melinda Erin Whitehead - December 2015!!
9/29/2015 0 Comments
5 Myths about Mediumship.
When I say the word "mediumship" to you, what immediately springs to mind?
A Victorian woman in a dark room tipping a table?
A man holding hands with a group around a Ouija Board speaking in some strange language?
Or how about the more recent representation of an individual accosting unsuspecting shoppers at the grocery store with "messages"?
Although there is certainly an element of TRUTH to all of these images, they have all also helped to give rise to some of the MYTHS ABOUT MEDIUMSHIP (of which there are MANY).
Here, I am going to tackle five of the major ones I most commonly encounter.
"After death, our loved ones know EVERYTHING and should be able to answer all of our questions accurately!"
Nope! Although it is TRUE that after death, most individuals DO seem to develop a much broader perspective on life and of themselves and loved ones than they had while in mortal bodies, they do NOT just automatically know everything there is to know! Just as our personalities here are outward reflections of our spiritual selves and are all varied in knowledge, wisdom, etc while on Earth, so too are we in Spirit. Different spirits may know different things at different times. Most importantly, spirit speaks through us (as in, the medium interprets it) in SYMBOLIC rather than literal ways, so although spirit always conveys truth, the interpretation of it is where it can sometimes become murky.
"By going to a medium or by participating in spirit communication, I am opening myself up to something dangerous and unnatural!"
Come again!? Spirit communication is a NATURAL PART of living these three dimensional, corporeal lives! We are SPIRITUAL BEINGS having a PHYSICAL EXPERIENCE, as the saying goes, and it's true! The rub here is that what people often don't realize is that we are always communicating with spirit whether we choose to be aware of it or not! Spirit = Energy and Energy = Information and we are constantly interacting with, and reacting to energy and information all the time anyway! Why not do it CONSCIOUSLY and make the most of it!?!
"When doing mediumship, whomever you want to connect with is always exactly who comes through and the medium is in control of that."
This would be handy if it worked that way, but alas, it does not. Think of the medium like the phone operators of old - they could connect the caller to the location of the receiver, but they were not able to influence who would pick up the call on the other end. The medium can attempt to connect with the spirit that they wish to communicate with, but because of the free will that exists in the spirit world as well, it is always up to the spirit whether they choose to (are ready, are "available" to, etc) at that time or not.
"Mediumship sessions cannot be done over the phone or through the internet, etc and need to be in person to be effective."
This one makes zero sense to me as to how anyone could think this one is accurate. That whole "Energy = Spirit" thing from Myth # 2 relates to this one too. If the ability to connect and communicate with beings and energies on another vibration is possible, how could doing it over the phone or the internet not be doable? The amazing thing about spirit and energy is that it is NOT bound by earthly time or affected by distance! This is one of the things that make spirit communication feasible in the first place, so to believe that it's efficacy could be inhibited by non-local limitations simply does not make any sense.
"Mediumship and Intuitive / Psychic ability is a gift only bestowed upon the "chosen" few!"
Of ALL the mediumship myths out there, this one makes me the most peeved! What elitist BUNK! Although there are certainly various degrees in intuitive skill level (as with all things like running, or singing, or reading, etc), EVERYONE is equipped with their own intuition! As children, we are quite in tune with it, but often are taught growing up that it is "just imagination" or "all in our heads". Good thing our intuition is willing to wait so patiently for us to come back and get reacquainted with it!
So those are just a few of the myths about mediumship that are floating around! Although many are born out of fear and misunderstanding of what mediumship is, there can be such wonderful healing, peace, and unconditional love that is delivered to us when we learn to open up to, and listen to what those in spirit can communicate to us through the fine art of mediumship!!!
Peace, light, love, and joy!
Melinda Erin Whitehead - September 2015.
"Do you listen with your HEART, or with your head?"
Words. Phrases. Language. They are powerful things, those little letters are! They help us to relate our feelings and thoughts, give commands, soothe each other, and to express ourselves both inside and out, but just how important is it that we "get the words right" anyway?
Well, that depends on how we look at it! If we view the words we each use as something fully understood and agreed upon by everyone (speaking our own language, at least), instead of seeing them for what they really are - a personal interpretation of a combination of letters we have been taught to hold a specific meaning - we can find ourselves (literally) lost in translation and feeling completely unheard, or worse even, engaged in conflict!
It really just comes down to semantics. We treat words and language like they are some infallible truth of expression but they are not. Words vary geographically, culturally, generationally, and even familially. They are ONLY worth the value we ascribe to them and even that is constantly changing.
Think of a time in which you have attempted to relay some such experience (be it an emotional, transcendental, or personal one, etc) to another and either found yourself at a total loss for words to adequately describe what you experienced or found yourself to be completely misunderstood when you felt you had found the right words to use. I am pretty sure you can think of many examples. It's semantics. The way one of us views the meaning of a certain word or phrase might or might not hold the same meaning to someone else.
When we begin to see language and words as more of a loosely interpretational tool for expression that is only one of many, rather than a hard and fast absolute, we can become BETTER listeners, and better able to more fully comprehend one another! Why wouldn't we want that?
With the ability of the internet to connect us all so intimately, the responsibility to use and to interpret words carefully and thoughtfully, and at the same time to remember that they are NOT an "absolute" becomes greater than ever before. Words may reside in our heads, but their TRUE comprehension can be found in our hearts and in our gut.
So, next time you find yourself listening to or reading someone's words, listen with your WHOLE BEING for the subtle meaning beneath the letters and watch an entirely new world of understanding open up for you!
Imagine what the world could be like if we ALL did that for each other!?
Peace, blessings, and love! Melinda Erin Whitehead - 2015.
My sister and I are pretty close with our cousin Jimmy and we like to chat with him regularly! The part that makes it really special is that Jimmy died in 2013, but that hasn't stopped him from keeping in touch with us!!
In my life I have had the great fortune to experience many extraordinary occurrences and this is my NEW favourite!! I have gotten signs from the dead from anything from lights being switched on, to hearing voices, finding objects, spirited phone calls, and many more wonderful things, but I have to admit, this is the first time I have received a ghostly TEXT!!! Trust Jimmy to do something awesome like this!
Last night my sister and I were texting back and forth about going to buy the RAW pet food we get. In the midst of the conversation, right in the middle of a text from my sister, her statement abruptly cuts off and I see "But thank you so much. I'm so glad Jimmy came threw! I didn't think he would but I was so glad he did!"!! My first reaction was "What the heck did she add THAT part for?" because we hadn't even been discussing cousin Jimmy then!
As you can see from the picture, as my brain was attempting to comprehend why the heck she just sent me that, I just replied to the part we had been discussing. What struck me as odd was that I REMEMBERED the message about Jimmy!! It was an old message Myla had sent me in the Autumn of 2014 after she had attended one of the mediumship groups I ran. I specifically remembered it because it was the first time my sister had ever seen me work "officially" and I was interested to see what she had thought about it!!!
I screenshotted it and sent it back to her to show her and when I asked her WTFF, she checked her phone and sent me a screenshot of what she had sent me and it wasn't in what she sent! It was incredible!
Now, skeptics, I know there could be so many "logical" reasons for how this could have happened (insert random explanation here), but they do not explain why THEN, why THAT particular text and not some other random message from any other conversation we have had?? The EXACT message about when Jimmy came through to communicate!?!?! That text wasn't even in our phones anymore (I checked), and my sister upgraded her phone in the time since that message was first sent so the phone it was on is not even in use anymore either.
It was of no small matter to us that after this took place, two other family members remarked on having randomly had Jimmy on their minds before the text appeared too! If some choose to consider that a coincidence, then so be it! My heart knows what it knows and my sympathies to those who are missing out on knowing the peace found within that eternal connection!
I have experienced enough over the years to recognize the connection that spirit makes and the ways it chooses to express itself in our lives! Loved ones speak to us in ways that we will understand (as long as we do not overlook the message simply because it appears too "ordinary") and support us at all times! It still never ceases to blow me away! I love it!!! Life and love live on!!
Jimmy's message to us? "Hey! I am here and I am coming through still!"! Thanks, cousin! We got it! Heard, Jimmy! Loud and clear!
Melinda Erin Whitehead - June 23, 2015.
I always get asked to share my recipes and I get busy and forget, so here I am sharing like I promised! Look at me remembering and all that! ;)
This is a delicious, tropical, satisfying, vegan treat that made us feel like we had just been sunning on the beach!
Hope you enjoy it as much as we did! (Sorry! I planned to take a pic to go with the post, but we ate it all before I got to it!)
Makes about a 2 litre container.
- 2 cans of FULL FAT coconut cream
- 1 can of drained pineapple tidbits
- 2 cups of non-dairy milk (a thicker one is better)
- 1 cup of vegan sugar or equivalent amount of sugar substitute
- 1 tbsp vanilla extract or scraped vanilla bean
- 1 tsp sea salt
- toasted coconut flakes to sprinkle over top (optional)
**Note: If you wish a really thick and creamy ice cream, you can even use 3 cans of coconut cream with 1 cup of non-dairy milk instead of 2 and 2. It will be REALLY rich, but since this recipe is celebrating the coconut flavour and not attempting to disguise it, it is not a problem. If you use a thinner non-dairy milk, the texture will resemble a thinner "ice milk" texture rather than an "ice cream" like as if a sorbet and ice cream had a baby together.
1. With a blender, immersion blender, or food processor, blend all ingredients until pineapples are evenly blended (I basically pulverized mine until smooth, but you could leave it a bit chunkier if you wish.)
**Note: If your coconut cream has those little fat balls in it, just heat it up slightly until they are melted. If not, they will never go away and they are kind of gross.
2. Chill for at least 2 hours and follow your ice cream maker's instructions. If you don't have an ice cream maker, you can just freeze it in a shallow pan (it won't have the same consistency as with an ice cream maker, but I doubt you'll have it around long enough to care).
3. Scoop it, sprinkle it with the toasted coconut, enjoy, and REPEAT (well, we went back for more, anyway)!!!!
P.S. I have not tried it, but I think it would well withstand a splash (or 6) of vegan booze to resemble a sort of Pina Colada slushie perfect for summery slurping!
Hope you enjoy it as much as we all did! Melinda Erin - June 2015.
Peace. On some level we ALL wish for it. Whether on a global or personal level, we seem to crave it. So why does that peace seem to remain so damned elusive? We pray for it, share our birthday wishes for it, carry signs promoting it, shake hands to spread it, sign petitions encouraging it, and yet it still seems so far out of reach. Is it REALLY out of reach, though, or are we just missing something fundamental? This peace-piece is meant to relate to cultivating peace on a personal level but with some tweaks here and there, there is no reason we could not also apply it on a larger scale just as simply!
What does peace mean to you? As with everything, we will all have a slightly different view and interpretation of what the idea of peace invokes in us. Our views may differ in that some may see peace as an inner state, some may feel it relates to an ordered and smooth outer life, or peace may represent happy relationships to others, and on and on in various ways. One thing we are probably all in agreement of is that there is some drive within each of us to find it! What if the reason we are still chasing it is NOT that it is such an impossible feat, but that we have NOT been willing to allow for it in our lives??
Peace in any regard is FREEDOM, and freedom is created when we cease to be enslaved by our own baggage and the restrictions of our own making! What if the only KEY to finding peace in our lives is to MAKE ROOM FOR IT??? By finding it within ourselves and our lives NOT by praying, or chasing, or searching, but by being WILLING TO DUMP THE CRAP that is impeding it?
How many times have we heard ourselves or others speak of wanting to find peace (or abundance, happiness, well-being, etc) out of one side of our mouths whilst perpetuating that exact strife out of the other? We do it a billion times a day! No WONDER we don't feel at ease! How can we find peace when our lives are too full of chaos to even find a bed for it if it did come?
Peace comes at a price and we need to begin asking ourselves if we are willing to pay it!!
To find peace in our relationships, are we WILLING to give up our anger, our blame, and our grudges?
To find peace within ourselves, are we WILLING to abandon our negative self-talk and dysfunctional circumstances?
To find peace and health within our bodies, are we WILLING to stop polluting ourselves with sugar, smoking, GMOs, alcohol, and processed foods?
To find peace within our hearts, are we WILLING to give up the need to judge and criticize both ourselves and others, and release our desire to control life?
To find financial peace, are we WILLING to stop participating in the race that measures our potential worth by how much junk we have?
To find peace within the world, are we WILLING to give up separation, intolerance, our need to defend, and our weaponry?
Peace may come at a high price by requiring us to be WILLING to check our baggage at the gate and proceed without it, but the pay-off for doing so is the ultimate reward! By allowing peace a space in our lives we also continue to then create it in a perpetually increasing loop! The more baggage you dump, the more peace you make room for which brings MORE peace, that in turn allows you to feel more balanced and calm which then inspires you to dump even MORE baggage, and on and on it will go!!!
We ALL have unlimited access to finding the peace we seek within our lives and ourselves at ANY time if we will just commit to leaving behind the the things that clearly keep it at bay! It has never been that peace has eluded us after all, but just that we never gave it a proper welcome in the first place! How much room will YOUR peace find with all of your baggage gone? I think it's definitely worth your while to find out!
In PEACE, light, joy, and love! Many blessings!
Melinda Erin Whitehead! March 2015.
We ALL have an agenda! Yep! You, me, the Queen, that kid over there, ALL of us!
Having an agenda can be helpful or not so much, and it is not necessarily a bad thing (ask yourself whether or not your agenda for that moment is beneficial to you and then decide), but it IS something to be aware of!
It colours all of our interactions and it shapes our experiences, so when we can KNOW exactly what (or at least have a rough idea of what) our agendas in any particular situation may be, we can modify our reactions and directions at any given time if we choose to! This allows us to remain calmer, more centered and to become less entangled in circumstances and exchanges that may be MUCH different than they appear without the honest awareness of what WE PERSONALLY expect from them! We learn to find ways to fulfill OUR OWN expectations WITHOUT relying on others to do it for us! In short - we find TOTAL FREEDOM!!!!
Many times the agendas we act upon turn out not even to be our own, but instead are something we "picked up" somewhere, inherited, or just have (although we may not even know why). When we become aware of this, then we can see our own motivations, needs, expectations, etc, in much clearer detail and WHO doesn't want more of THAT in their lives!?!
The bottom line here is that AWARENESS CHANGES OUR PERSPECTIVES and with that shift come whole new and improved opportunities to navigate life, relationships and so much more!
So, if you just stop to listen, what's YOUR agenda trying to tell you?
Well, now that I have fulfilled my agenda of offering something I hope is helpful to the world today, I am off!
Have a wonderful day!!! Peace, love and many blessings!
Melinda Erin Whitehead! January 17, 2015.
So think of it like this - you and The Divine Creator have made a mutual decision to go into business together! Congratulations!
You have also worked out what roles and responsibilities you will each be playing in this joint venture and GUESS WHAT?!? YOU are the idea person! The GRAND DESIGNER! The head of the company! YOU are the face of your entire corporation!
Holy crap, right!?! Now that's A LOT of responsibility!! That makes YOU the BOSS!! Now let this sink in! YOU are the boss of the WHOLE shebang! YEP! Sweet, isn't it!?!
Now, hold it! Waaaait a minute! What's the catch? There MUST be a CATCH! So what is this so-called "partner" of yours going to doing if YOU are up front SLAVING away with this whole "running the show" stuff? Where will The Divine Creator be during all of this effort and responsibility now laying before you, huh? Slacking in the back or napping in a corner no doubt! This is garbage! THIS must be the CATCH!!! Sure! You're "equal partners", alright! YOU do ALL of the WORK and The Divine Creator reaps the benefits! SAME! OLD! STORY! Forget it! You're nobody's fool! You are OUT! Let The Ol' Divine Creator figure this one out alone because you have BETTER things to do! Besides, if you were going to be the head of the company anyway, who needs a partner - you can do it yourself and by golly you will try!
Did you relate to this story in any way? Did you buy into it, or get caught up in it? Did it tick your boxes or get you going? Do you also believe there must be a "catch" because being named the "face of your own corporation" seems just too good to be true? Do you believe you are better off doing it on your own?
Well, if your answers to those questions are yeses, than I have two very important words for you - GOOD and LUCK! Thankfully, the story I spun above is only PARTIALLY accurate!
Yep! Whether you remember it or not, you and The Divine Creator really HAVE decided to go into business together, and you both HAVE chosen for you to run the company! For real!
Honest, and if that alone isn't great enough, GET THIS - while YOU get to serve as the head designer and creative force behind which way your company (which, in case you haven't noticed by now, is really your LIFE) progresses and what it creates and produces, your trusty partner in crime The Divine Creator handles EVERYTHING ELSE! Uh-huh! EVERYTHING else!
The Divine Creator is your workforce, production team, financier, research and development crew, and delivery service all rolled into one! Just think, you pictured The Divine slacking in the back, too! Better think AGAIN! What is also excellent about this arrangement, is that The Divine WANTS to do all of this work for your company! It loves it! It WANTS you in the driver's seat and it will do ANYTHING and everything possible to support you and your decisions! After all, you ARE equal partners in the company, remember!?!
When YOU succeed in your position and with your company, your PARTNER The Divine Creator succeeds with you (and vice versa, of course)! Now how in the heck could you possibly think anything else was even fathomable? You and The Divine Creator are an unstoppable, success-is-your-only-frigging-option kind of team! Growth, creation, and expansion are the goals and the company's only TRUE agenda! The other stuff is just a cherry on top!
By now, you may be starting to see the picture a bit more clearly here! When your life (aka your company) is not running as well as, or in the directions you want it to be, it is certainly NOT because your partner has been slacking, but because you are either NOT being clear enough on what the work order is meant to be, or that when the wonderful work is being offered to you, YOU, as the front person, are REJECTING it because you somehow think you could do better on your own (that is referred to as "control" or "illusion" and NEITHER one are real or offer any benefit to you or your company) or you are just simply not holding up your end of the responsibility!
NEWS FLASH! You CAN'T do it on your own! That is why the wonderfully supportive, compassionate Divine Creative Force that loves you SO MUCH, agreed to let you lead while it does all of the work! What more could we possibly ask for? It has already been given right to us if we would just peek out of our management agendas for long enough to realize!
So there you have it! Congratulations on being the head of your own company! You always have been! The question is, now that you know the key to the office has been in your pocket all along and your workforce is ready to produce, just exactly WHAT do you want YOUR COMPANY to create? Part of the fun is finding out! See you in the "Fortunate 5 000 000 000"!!
Peace, Love, and many blessings!
Melinda Erin Whitehead! January 2015.
12/5/2014 0 Comments
Why death does not separate us.
A loved one's passing does not remove them from our lives or us from theirs!
One of the misunderstandings surrounding the nature of death is that we experience such a false sense of separation from those who have died, and I truly believe that it is this lack of understanding that contributes to such difficult experiences of grief. We may not be able to stop ourselves from missing those who have died, but we do not have to continue to experience the sense of separation any longer!
Most people are familiar with the concept of an afterlife, and many have even had their own personal experiences with it in one way or another. With that being so, there is still very little understanding or discussion about what the afterlife entails for us here, or what that actually means in relation to our loved ones who have gone over already. When we begin to explore what these concepts and the energies surrounding them entail, we begin to see that what we consider the "Other Side" is actually just THIS side with an expanded perspective!
What is the "Other Side" anyway? Well, from the energetic viewpoint, it is nothing more than a vibration that is slightly different than the one our everyday physical world operates on. It is all around us. It is a part of us and we are a part of it. We can never actually be separated from it. On a conciousness level, we are ALL ONE energy and we are ALWAYS connected to everyone and everything! The difference in consciousness from our physical world and in our physical bodies and the perspective from without them is that we as humans are often very limited in our thinking. We are aware of and believe only in what we can sense through our physical senses of touch, sight, hearing, smell, and tasting. Let me assure you that that is TRULY the least of all of the ways to perceive our surroundings and the nature of the space we are in! Don't be afriad to explore more than just your five known senses!
Energy (Spirit, or The Divine, or Conciousness, or whatever you wish to call it) exists outside of time and of space. For those who believe in reincarnation, it is even more fascinating to consider that those multiple and continuous lives are actually occuring both presently and concurrently - we are living or experiencing ALL of our lives (past, present, future, parallel, etc) from the same moment! Everything is NOW! Since energy is a ridiculously interesting thing and even with that being said, that does NOT mean that our lives are unchangeable or pre-destined in a way that removes our personal input into them. In fact, it's quite the opposite! Our intention shapes and changes the energy as we go and impacts everything else so it is very important that we become aware of just how much impact we really do have over our lives (both here and otherwise).
Another incredible realization about time only existing as a faculty of our limited universal perspective (progression in cycles is a "real" circumstance of our world, but the PERCEPTION of time is far different) is in regards to the afterlife, and in how we and our loved ones continue to remain connected and interacting after death. Since we know that time is not a factor in the realm of energy and spirit, we can then understand - and this is a BIGGIE - that when a loved one or us ourselves die and leave our physical forms, we are then able to access both our loved ones who have passed before us AS WELL AS those who are still living in physical form, and even those who have moved ahead into a future incarnation (all lives are concurrent, remember)!
We are still ALWAYS in full and constant connection with those in a different vibration from where we are, even if we are not aware of it! The ONLY thing that separates us from each other is the ILLUSION of separation that comes from our limited human perspective and linear perception of things taking place as past, present, and future! When we die and leave our bodies, we are reunited with those who have died previously AND with those who are still in bodies because they are actually BOTH the EXACT SAME THING! Dead equals alive and vice versa! No separation!
So the next time that you find yourself wondering if your loved ones are okay and if they are around you, ponder the idea that nothing has actually taken place to separate you - other than your belief that it is so! You are always together!
In peace, love, light, and blessings! Melinda! ^_^
"I am so lost and I just don't know what to do about it or even where to start!"
That is a statement that most of us can relate to having felt at some time or other. It is a terrible and often hopeless feeling and there are many ways we could have gotten to that place, but often, it has been building up for some time.
The question is, what can we do to help ourselves get oriented when we feel we have lost our direction? Luckily, it may be easier to find the starting place than we may have thought!
I hear this from people I work with on a regular basis and I have had times where I have felt it too. What has occurred to me over the years is that although it may APPEAR (while we are experiencing it) that we must be LOST, more often what we are really feeling is OVERWHELMED! Once we begin to break it down and look objectively at where we are, we can then begin to take the first steps back onto the path of our chosen direction.
One of the first things that we can do to figure out where to begin is to take a good, honest look at our lives and name out everything that we want to improve upon. A great way to do this is to actually make a physical list. Whether on paper or digitally, get it out of your head and onto something physical you can use to give yourself a bit of distance from it. Making a list is helpful because it gets the thoughts out of your head so you can begin to disengage from them long enough to establish a bit of clarity. Once we can relax about something, it allows us the ability to begin to problem solve whatever issues we are facing. We can then even walk away and leave the list for awhile until we are ready to come back and tackle it. Lists are also useful because they help us become aware of PATTERNS that we might be missing while things are rolling back and forth inside our minds.
Once we have gotten our honest (often painfully so) and complete list out of our heads and onto a medium, we can start to go over it. The list may seem a bit daunting - especially when we consider that feeling overwhelmed is most likely what is ACTUALLY bothering us to begin with, but that's okay - it's just a part of the process! We just have to remember that with each tiny step, we get further down the road and clearer about what route to take to get there!
As I said, it can be amazing to see the obvious patterns that jump out at us that we were not consciously aware of before. If these patterns appear and reveal a common theme, then we have already found our place to begin! THIS is where the REAL work starts! It is usually truth that the problem is rarely NOT knowing what the issue is, but more commonly NOT wanting to make the changes necessary to improve it that creates the most resistance!
So, we have our list and we've identified any patterns within them. Great! Where do we go next? Well, that part is up to each of us individually, but in general, the best place to begin is either with the MOST IMPORTANT things (such as the themes revelaed in the patterns), or with the EASIEST to accomplish first. To me, I feel like a combination of beginning with both of those together can be the most helpful. "Crossing off" the things which are the easiest can give us the boost in confidence and in momentum to continue on to bigger things; and the things that are the most important are the ones that will probably make the strongest impact on our lives when addressed.
Another common sentiment I hear from people a lot is that they "can't" make changes to their lives because they "have no choice" and have no opportuntiy to make changes! They can't "do anything", but this is simply NOT the truth! We ALWAYS have choices! The problem is that we don't always LIKE what our options for making choices are, and so we do NOTHING besides complaining instead, remaining stuck and feeling miserable for it!
We may not be able to change our location, our job, our relationship, or larger circumstances as instantly as we would like, but until we CAN do the work necessary to make those changes occur, we can do other things to get ourselves to that point! We can change the things closest to us - such as our thoughts and reactions, and we can change many small outer factors as well (like actually APPLYING for jobs when we want to find a new one, or buying healthier groceries when we want our health to improve, etc).
Once we've taken our first steps down the road to our destination and further towards our goals, the choice whether or not to DO what is necessary to HAVE the improvements in our lives that we state we want are only up to US . . . but we can NO longer claim that we are LOST when we realize that we have had a map laid out by life in front of us the entire time!
Peace, love, and blessings to you to make your dreams come true!
Make your star shine!
Melinda Erin Whitehead - October 2, 2014.
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